


Life is Always Unfair

by cosmotarian



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Brief Flashbacks to The CSI Golden Era, F/M, Grissom Never Left, M/M, Other, Unrequited Love, Warrick Never Died, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmotarian/pseuds/cosmotarian
Summary: Not everything in life goes according to plan, and life is always unfair.  Nick Stokes had to learn this lesson the hard way.  Oneshot.
Relationships: Archie Johnson/Wendy Simms, Bobby Dawson/His Partner, Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle, Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes, Greg Sanders/Riley Adams, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Unrequited Relationship - Relationship, Warrick Brown/Catherine Willows
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Life is Always Unfair

Title: Life is Always Unfair 

Disclaimer: I do not "own" CSI or any of its characters. Those rights belong to Anthony Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, Jerry Bruckheimer, and CBS. I only own this fanfic.

Rating and Warning: K+. 

Plot: Not everything in life goes according to plan, and life is always unfair. Nick Stokes had to learn this lesson the hard way. Oneshot.

Notes: There are some AU elements in this. Warrick is still alive (Undersheriff McKeen never murdered him). Grissom never leaves CSI. 

Please leave non-flame reviews!

You are surprised by how much of you turned out, well, not to be straight. It’s not that you don’t know anyone in the LGBT community, because you do. You met them in college, in your first stints on the job, and now in the Las Vegas Crime Lab. You’ve met Bobby Dawson and his partner together quite a few times now. They tied the knot the minute marriage equality became officially legal in Nevada in 2014. They’re so amazing together that you envy them. They complement each other to perfection. You know they’ll be together forever. And then…there is you. Hopelessly and helplessly in love with your best friend.

And there is Greg Sanders, who is, in fact, straight.

Although you count Warrick Brown as your best friend, you feel you have a deeper connection with Greg and can open up to him more. He’s youthful, funny, empathetic, and a great listener. You have affectionate nicknames for him, like “G” and “Greggo.” He’s your little lab rat, even though he’s an inch taller than you.

You realize you’ve felt something stronger than best friendship for Greg sometime after the lab explosion. You visit Greg in the hospital every day and once he’s released, you try to help him overcome his trauma. Later, Greg tells you he’s tired of the lab life and wants to go out into the field. Convinced that he’s still shaken by the explosion, you try to talk him out of it, reminding him of his passion for science and how he worked to get to where he is today. He cuts you off, saying that CSIs also use science in their fields, but in a more pragmatic manner. Plus, he feels he needs to step out of his comfort zone. He’s sure of it, and nothing anyone says or does can change his mind. You sleep over that night, watching a mix of your favorite films. You fall asleep bro-cuddling on the couch, and something feels different about tonight. 

There’s something inside you that goes aflutter whenever you’re around him, a spark that goes off, if you will. You shrug it off, claiming that it’s just confusion and the intensity of recent events. After all, you’re known around the crime lab as a ladies’ man, the one who’s broken the heart of every single woman in the Las Vegas Metropolitan Area. Earlier in life, you dated and hooked up quite a bit in high school and in your days as a frat bro at Texas A&M. There’s nothing you can be _but_ straight, just like your pals Greg and Warrick. You try to push any non-platonic thoughts of Greg out of your head.

Oh, how wrong you are.

You try dating Mandy for a few months outside work. However, you break up on your six-month anniversary. You can’t love her the way she deserves. It’s unfair to her. You love her in a platonic way. There is somebody else you love in a romantic way.

Greg, meanwhile, is dating women left and right. He’s known around the lab as a notorious flirt, flirting with anything and everything that moves. Sometimes the flirtation is serious, sometimes it’s done in a playful, non-serious manner.

Greg passes his proficiency tests and becomes a CSI Level 1. The team goes out to Frank’s Diner, their usual hangout, to celebrate. The following Friday, you and Greg have the day off. You take him out on the town to have a real celebration of his new job. He puts his arm around you when you’re both riding the High Roller, and for a minute, you think Greg might feel the same way. A few seconds later, it then hits you that you’re affectionate with each other like this all the time. You sigh, returning the side-hug, trying to make this sign of affection as platonic as possible, while wanting it in your heart to be romantic.

A couple years pass. Ecklie has to be his usual jackass self and breaks up the graveyard shift team. He appoints Catherine as the swing shift supervisor and assigns you and Warrick to her team. Grissom remains the graveyard shift supervisor, with Greg and Sara on his team. This upsets you greatly. That gives you less time to spend with the one who’s been the best friend you’ve ever had. There will be fewer opportunities to tease each other in the lab, work together on a case, or hang out on the weekends. No more team trips to Frank’s. However, you also view this as the opportunity to finally get over what you know is an unrequited crush.

Months later, you get kidnapped and are buried alive. The intensity of it all…the fact that you’re buried alive, that your kidnapper is fiddling with the air and lighting in order to mentally torture you, that it feels like the fire ants are slowly sucking your life away, makes you want to just end it all right then and there. However, Warrick talks you out of it when you’re communicating on the camera. And you realize…just maybe there’s a chance, even if it’s less than 1%, that Greg might someday return your feelings. That motivates you to fight for your life. The team rescues you, using their investigative skills and ability to analyze key clues. 

Grissom angrily, yet stoically, tells Ecklie “I want my guys back.” You, Catherine, and Warrick are reassigned to Grissom effective the next pay period.

Greg visits you every day in the hospital, never leaving your side. He brings a pillow and blanket, making the seating area of your hospital room into a makeshift bed. When you’re released to go home, he comes over every day to help you with anything you need. He sleeps over a lot, too. When he witnesses you tossing and turning violently and screaming in your sleep, he then realizes the intensity of your nightmares and the trauma you still carry with you. He shares a bed with you, holding you until you fall asleep. You try your hardest not to interpret this as romantic, knowing Greg is just trying to fulfill his duties as your best friend. You thus sigh and concede the current platonic relationship, gratefully melting into Greg’s arms. Although therapy does help you overcome the worst demons of what happened to you at the hands of Walter Gordon, you admit that it’s Greg’s kindness, friendship, and constant companionship that truly _heals_ you.

It’s during this time that you realize not only are you in love with Greg, but you feel there is no one else, man or woman, who you feel you can truly love (or truly love you) the way they deserve (or that you need).

More time passes. You and Greg are glued at the hip. You try to drop subtle hints, but Greg still interprets your actions as typical “bro” behavior. He tries to bro-flirt with you too, thinking it’s all in good fun. But inside, it’s killing you.

Greg tries to save a victim from a gang assault, but he ends up getting beaten within an inch of his life. Just as Greg did for you when you were buried alive, you spend every waking minute possible with your friend to help with his healing. You try to beat up the creeps who did this to your buddy, but Warrick stops you. You thus channel your anger into making sure the perps get justice.

A little more time goes by, and Warrick finally confronts you about your feelings for Greg. He is wise beyond his years. You try to insist that it’s just bromance, until he tells you that the both of you share a bromance as well, and you don’t do half the things together that you do with Greg. Realizing that you’re cornered, you break down and admit to your other best friend the truth. Warrick smiles sadly and lets out a small chuckle, telling you that he always thought if a situation like this were to come up in your friendship with Greg, that Greg would be the one desperately pining after you. All you can do is let out a pained, ironic laugh.

The Gedda case comes up, and Warrick almost pays the ultimate price for it. However, he is spared. He is temporarily suspended for a few weeks until his name is cleared. This finally gives Catherine the motivation to go after the man she’s always wanted. She almost lost the love of her life the first time but will not make that mistake again. This was completely expected, as most people in the lab thought that Catherine and Warrick were _already_ a thing. The fact that they _weren’t a thing yet_ was the unexpected part. They’re happily and lucky in love.

Grissom and Sara are also a thing; however, they’re more discreet, given that she is Grissom’s subordinate.

All of this romance in the air makes you sick to your stomach. Here are your colleagues getting who they’ve always wanted, and you're stuck.

Yet here you are now, almost a decade after meeting Greg, still pining after him like a lost puppy.

In the fall of 2008, despite the historic recession, there’s enough in the municipal budget to hire a new CSI. Ecklie hires an attractive thirtysomething named Riley Adams. She’s got a fierce, no-nonsense attitude and specializes in ballistics. She and Greg seem to get along almost instantly. They seem to hang out quite a bit outside the office, something which doesn’t sit right with you.

Grissom takes a brief leave of absence for three months, leaving Catherine as temporary supervisor of the night shift. The mood of the lab is somewhat different without Grissom around.

Upon Grissom’s return, Greg gets promoted to CSI Level 3. The two of you celebrate by eating takeout and watching stupid movies. You spend the night, of course. 

Your world comes crashing down, however, when Greg tells you that he and Riley are officially an item. You congratulate him with that winning, heart-melting smile of yours, but deep down, you know this was going to happen eventually. Sure, Greg dated plenty of women over the past decade, but you know there’s just something… _something_ about this woman that you can’t put your finger on yet that you know is different from all of Greg’s other girlfriends or casual dates.

Months pass. Greg and Riley are the newest power couple in the lab. They are a force to be reckoned with and are a cute couple to boot. They understand each other and finish each other’s sentences. What pains you the most is that you _know_ they’re truly in love. They’re soulmates.

Realizing that Greg and Warrick are both spending more time with their respective significant others and are making less time for you, you start to hang out with Hodges outside the office on occasion. You’re both pathetically single, after all. One day, over a round of beers, he confesses his undying love for Wendy Simms, who is currently in a serious relationship with Archie Johnson. After that, you start to hang out more, bonding over the fact that you’re both in love with people you can never have. When you confess who your own unrequited love is, Hodges tells you that he’s surprised that you two didn’t get together years ago.

Everybody is curious about why, in your mid-30s, you are still single. Why is Nicholas Parker Stokes, high school football star, Texas A&M frat bro, tall, athletic, handsome, kind, empathetic, masculine, with Southern charm, still single? Your parents and siblings also question this mystery, this million-dollar question. You shrug it off, saying your job gives you no time for romances. You volunteer for as many doubles as your mind and body will tolerate in order to back up this excuse. Your parents continue to press you, until you tell them some drivel you just made up about finding yourself and your sexuality. They surprise you by telling you that no matter what, they’ll support you. You seriously doubt that.

When Bobby Dawson announces that he and his partner are adopting a two-year-old boy from the child services system in Clark County, you clap for them and congratulate them. However, it internally kills you, as you can easily picture yourself and Greg as gay fathers.

You’re asked to be the best man at Warrick and Catherine’s wedding. You accept on the spot, of course. At the wedding reception, you watch, with sad and jealous rage, Greg and Riley happily dancing the night away. You strike up a conversation with a random woman and get her to dance with you, so you don’t look like the pathetic sap who’s still single in his 30s and pining after his very straight best friend.

Months pass again. You’re invited to Grissom and Sara’s wedding. You attend the ceremony but leave the reception early. You aren’t up to witnessing yet another round of Greg and his girlfriend being all happy together.

The more serious Greg’s relationship gets, the less time he has for you. You start to miss the hugs, playful touches, and flirtatious jokes you’d make to each other. What you’d give for a Friday night of bro-cuddling on the couch. Watching football on Sunday with Greg and Warrick.

When Greg notices something is going on, he tries to ask you what’s wrong. You say that there’s someone you love who broke your heart. Greg comforts you and cancels his date with Riley. You both hang out at your house on Friday night just like old times. He tells you that you, Riley, and Papa Olaf are the three most important people in his life. You fall asleep in a bro-cuddle on the couch. 

He deserves to be happy. That’s why you don’t tell him. You just miserably watch everything from the sidelines. All of his attempts to cheer you up are futile.

One fateful day, Greg walks into the breakroom with a fancy envelope. He drops one in front of you. Without even opening it up, you don’t have to think twice to know what it is. It’s a very well-designed envelope with gold lettering on the front. He also hands these same envelopes to Grissom, Sara, Catherine, Warrick, Archie, Wendy, Hodges, Mandy, Bobby, and Jacqui. 

When everyone leaves the breakroom and it’s just him and you, he asks you to be his best man. As much as you’re dying inside right now, you again put on that winning smile, and with the most best friend joy you can muster up, happily accept the honor. He smiles, giving you the hug he used to give you back in the day. You return the hug, knowing that these displays of affection between the two of you are going to occur even more rarely than they already are now. He then tells you that Grissom, Warrick, Archie, Bobby, and Hodges will be the groomsmen. He goes on and on about how he wanted a simple wedding, but Riley wants to go all out, so he has to go all out in return. You chuckle, making some comment about women. He grins and chuckles in return.

He then tells you he has to go work on an assignment. You wave goodbye to him as he walks away, and before you know it, a stray teardrop falls on the fancy envelope in your hand.

You knew this would happen eventually. Although, in your mind, you planned your life differently than this, you know that not everything in life goes according to plan. Life is unfair, after all. However, life moves on.

Thank you for your reviews!

**Author's Note:**

> The Love is the best CSI ship ever, but I felt this was a fic that needed to be written.
> 
> As you can see, there are flashbacks to various episodes, such as "Play With Fire," "Grave Danger," "Fannysmackin'," "For Gedda," and the like.
> 
> Regarding their heights, in real life, George Eads (Nick) is 5'11" while Eric Szmanda (Greg) is 6'. So...yes, Greg IS taller than Nick.


End file.
